We're here, now how do we get out?

So many people have been traumatized by these horrendous events.  And watching them over and over again does not help, rather it produces further damage.  We don't need to see the horror again, it's crystal clear in our memories.  Moreso, than we'd like it to be. Perhaps we'd like to be blissfully unaware of these events or to just stuff them, not think about them again, but it's impossible to fully enjoy the blessed gift of life if we are blind to the parts we don't like.  I've been struggling over this series of blogs because I know they're not flowing.  Today I realized they're rough because of my own struggle.  My blog is partly to help me heal as well as to hopefully help my readers find their way through the muck to their healing.  I keep thinking about one of my favorite stories about Jesus.



Jesus made his way to his friends home but he was late.  Lazarus had already died and Mary and Martha were not in forgiving moods.  After being chastised for his delay, he joined his friends sitting by the tomb.  He had no words of wisdom for them.  He simply listened to their expressions of pain and shared his own.  He cried. God blessed us with connection, compassion, love, empathy, feelings and desire to be in relationship with one another.  We don't have to have a personal relationship with another person in order to feel compassion, sadness, horror for them.  By divine gift we ARE related and we will feel for others.  In the same way, when we feel for others, especially when they have experienced something so traumatic, we have a need to express our feelings one way or another.  The more traumatic the situation, the less clear we are about why we feel what we feel and that's normal.  There will be time to sort it out.  But initially, we need to sit with our friends, with people we feel safe with and simply express what we just experienced and how we feel about it.  There will be a time for renewed life, a time to heal and go from this "place" stronger and full of life as a result of having been there and having processed through what is normal in an abnormal situation.  But for now, we need to allow ourselves to explore what is going on within ourselves.  Try not to label or explain or blame at this point.  Too often we rush to deciding what caused this horrific thing to happen and all this truly does is puts a temporary band aide on a festering wound.  If you can't find someone who is willing to simply listen and not censure your experience or your feelings then write it down.  Hopefully you'll find a pastor, counselor, friend, mentor who is willing to walk through this with you.  The key is to share feelings and experience and refrain from labeling, blaming, or explaining at this point.  It's way too early.  You'll hear all sorts of explanations on facebook, in group discussions, in the paper, on the news .. you do not need to have an opinion.  It's not time yet.